Top mistakes I made as a parent
Welcome to parenthood, where you will receive endless advice, but still end up making mistakes along the way. We are all humans just doing the best we can to raise our children. I hope you can learn from some of the parenting mistakes I’ve made over the years or relate to some of them so I don't feel so awful =)
I thought I had to parent the way everyone else deemed acceptable
When I became a parent, I thought I had to be accepted by everyone, all the time when it came to the way I parented my child. This is huge because as I mentioned in a prior post, there is advice coming from everywhere. That means that pleasing everyone is impossible. Remember to do what you think is best for you and your home. While you can consider advice, it is important to listen to and follow your instincts. Parenthood is more than just raising kids, it's learning and growing as a person.
Not providing choices to foster problem-solving and self-esteem in my child
I did not feel the need to provide my daughter choices, I expected her to do what I wanted her to do, the way I wanted her to do it, and how I wanted her to do it. Another big parenting mistake =D
As a parent, you naturally want what’s best for your child, for them to stay safe and grow up to be successful decision- makers. I had to learn that in order for my daughter to be a good decision maker, I had to provide her the opportunity to make decisions and could I do that if I made her choices for her all of them time? To learn problem-solving skills, we needed to allow her to make choices, even if that means there could be tough consequences. The short-term struggles only taught her how to weigh her choices going forward, improve her self-esteem, and confidence.
Calling children bad/ blaming them for operating out of fear
I used to call my daughter "bad" all of the time because well similar to her, I did not understand her behaviors. I later learned that her behaviors were influenced by her thoughts and feelings that I had not yet taught her how to name and express.
Children have a way of testing our patience, leaving us frustrated and some of even fearful. It is important to recognize that their behaviors are not intentional. Many of the behaviors they exhibit are developmentally appropriate and when we shift our way of viewing those behaviors and focus more on the root in addition to our response to said behaviors, we may just see a difference.