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Myths about Reformed Parenting

Myths about reformed parenting

Parenting, raising kids, parenthood, reformed parenting, parenting myths

When you become a parent there are many things that you may have heard and while there may be some truth to them, it will vary depending on the mindset of the family. Here are four myths on reformed parenting we have learned from our years of experience.

Myth 1: There is only one way to parent...

When you hear about parenting, everyone will offer you their own opinion on the "best" way to parent. This may lead you to believe, and for many of us the thought is subconsciously, that there is only one way to parent #lies. There are endless ways to parent, so feel free to take advice from others, but if your values do not align with those of everyone else do not feel guilty picking and choosing your own techniques. That is what reformed parenting is all about, finding a solution to the "problem," and applying what works for YOU and YOUR household. You are the parent of your child, you are capable of being the parent that they need.

Myth 2: You will spoil your child

To spoil your child can mean a variety of things, most commonly this can be referred to as doing something that will negatively impact the character of your child. This may be due to being too easy-going or giving in to pressure. We all have different viewpoints on what this might look like, so it is important to find balance. Oftentimes parents may spoil their child in one way, such as financially, or with their time but it is hard to spoil your kids with everything. Many of us show love the way we deem as important and other parents may not agree and thus assume that you are spoiling your child. An example: There are 2 parents, Parent A and Parent B. Parent A shows love by spending quality time with their children. For Parent A that may be bringing their child with them, everywhere they go. Parent B however, shows love by buying gifts, they may imply that parent A is spoiling their child by always having them around. And vice versa, Parent A may think Parent B is spoiling their child by always buying gifts. The question should not be whether or not we are spoiling on children but rather, "How am I showing up for my child? I am giving them what they need?"

Myth 3: Your child will not respect you

The biggest myth that we hear "Your child will not respect you, if you do not ______." This is a parenting myth. If respect is a core value in your home or your life, your children will know what you expect that to look and sound like because you would have modeled it for them. Children will mirror the actions they see, so it’s important for parents to be good examples by treating everyone (including their children) with respect at all times, if that is a core value in your home. If you raise your child with love and respect, there is a good chance that they will love and respect you back.

Myth 4: It’s impossible to be both their parent and friend

“You need to be their parent, not their friend” might be something you’ve heard before. While the intention of this statement is true, it lacks the credibility to stand up against the test. Friends can be defined as, "A state of mutual trust and support..." according to Oxford Languages. Which further proves, you can indeed be a parent and a friend. You can trust that you are raising your children with intention and providing them with all of the tools that they need to navigate their world, they in return will know that you are their safe place and they will not only value your opinion but they will trust you. Being a parent that a child sees as someone they can trust and come to with problems is a great way to foster relationships with your young ones. A relationship between a parent and child can bond over the years as you both learn and grow with age.

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